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Looking for Some No-Good Varmints?

Browse Varmints Du Jour to learn about the Varmints’ latest misdeeds, or the monthly archives at the bottom of this page for a sampling of their previous crimes and misdemeanors! But for the full story of their rotten behavior, scroll down to purchase one of the many fine Varmints compendia!

Jews vs. Varmints 2: Jews vs. QAnon

How can you possibly win a debate with the deranged mystical mishegaas of QAnon? Why, with the inspired Jewish mystical mishegaas of Gematria, traditional Hebrew numerology, as invoked by whole tribes of misguided prophets! Join us in mockery, why don’t you!

Jews vs. Varmints

The Horny-Toad family has been a shandeh fur de goyim, a disgrace to the Jewish people from the beginning of its reign of terror! Find out just how terrible they are, both as Jews and as reptiles!

The Adventures of Pavel, The Passive-Aggressive Super-Possum

Do you harbor lots of hidden hostility that you are too chicken ever to express directly? Meet your superhero avatar, Pavel the Passive-Aggressive Super-Possum! Cheer as he fights crime and super-villains and rescues beautiful lady possums (possa? No, “possum” isn’t a Latin neuter noun!) while also irritating the living daylights out of everybody! Soon to be a major motion picture starring Larry David as Pavel! (If only!)

Huge, massive collections of the Varmints’ past offenses!

Volume 5: The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Varmints

This is America’s “summer of freedom,” despite the still-raging coronavirus pandemic, and the Varmints are bustin’ out all over! Follow their continued misadventures!

Varmints in Quarantine Deluxe Print Edition #4: Special Varmint Snowflakes (January-March 2021)

Now is the winter of our discontent / Made glorious summer by this sun of Biden; / And all the clouds that lowered upon our house / In the deep bosom of the ocean buried. / But as I travelled hither through the land, / I find the varmints strangely fantasied; / Possessed with rumors, full of idle dreams, / Not knowing what they fear, but full of fear…–Will “Varmint” Shakespeare

Volume 3: Revolutionary Varmints!

How will a bunch of no-good, dirty, lowdown varmints handle America’s metastasizing post-election, peak pandemic psychosis? Featuring lots of song parodies and tons of gallows humor.

Volume 2: A Conspiracy of Varmints!

With the COVID-19 pandemic in a temporary lull, killing only hundreds of Americans a day instead of thousands, these disgusting Varmints felt free to pursue their deluded politics as the 2020 presidential election drew near!

Volume 1: Varmints in Quarantine!

When a passel of dirty, rotten, no-good varmints are locked up in the house due to the COVID-19 pandemic, their inherent nastiness is bound to come out!

Check out Martin Berman-Gorvine’s main website or Amazon author page.